Sool-Stool!

I had intended to do a full update regarding my goings-on for the past weeks, but I reckon that it'd be of little interest to anybody, least of all myself. Since departing Anjuna, my trip has consisted of revisiting much, and discovering very little. I don't suppose you want another post on Hampi? Gokarna? Anjuna? No? Neither do I!!

I came to Fort Cochin on the 11th of this month, shortly after spending a couple of weeks wandering around northern Karnataka with Emil, Emma, and Henrik... my Swedish mafia. Here is a photo of them. Aren't they cute? They know words like "catalyst" and "resolution" ... although they don't seem to be entirely sure where to add the stress sometimes. The word "diary" can become quite funny when the emphasis is placed on the last syllable, as I came to find out. Anyway, we went to Hampi and Gokarna together, and although I nearly wiped out Henrik's 16 GB memory card on accident, the time passed without incident and I found myself enjoying what could have been the most pleasurable 10 days of my time in India.

So, I came to Kochi (Cochin) by myself and met this crazy one. The manager at our hostel tried to get me to abandon her to his wily design, but I hung fast. Lucky for me, that resulted in mango cornflakes, picnics, and hours of bike riding. It also resulted in me getting thrown out of my hostel early, as the hostel manager (I'm assuming) got angry that there was never a minute alone with her to be had. I was always lurking... lurking nearby and watching. Anyway, because of me, he never made his move, and because of him, I was thrown out early. Scumbag!

Anyway, fast-forward a couple days, and I'm back in Swedish company as Emil and Emma come to meet me in Allepey for 3 full days of relaxing on a houseboat. I had originally fretted over what to do for 3 days on a boat in the backwaters.. but thanks to the $4 bottle of Mango vodka, with a helping hand from a bottle of Black Pepper rum and 2 cases of Kingfisher... that never really became an issue. Here's a couple of photos from the trip. We also had a discussion about the merits of sharing underwear while on the boat.. but I won't get into that here. The entire trip cost around 3, 250 rupees a person... roughly equivalent to 70 dollars for 3 days cruising through the backwaters in our own personal boat. All food included. You can see the banana-leaf spread on the photo below, prepared with love by our happy cook, Rajeevan. I didn't manage to get a photo of our crew (Pushpen was the name of our captain)... but they had acute hearing and a healthy appetite for drinking games. They caught on to "pyramid" quickly. I thank Australian Tom for teaching me that one.


Where we docked for the third night.
Rajeevan's lunch spread. On the top left of the banana leaf is okra. Then there was a potato thing on the upper right, and a pineapple banana curry on top of the rice. All you can eat- since those silver containers in the corner were full to bursting with more food. The best food I've had in India (best food of my trip??). The only complaint I had was that I had to waddle around in my bikini afterwards. Most of the trip, I was simply hovering between really, really full, and uncomfortably full. It makes for a not-very-productive boat trip.

Rice paddies. Watch the cloud of mosquitos lift.

Back in Kochi, afterwards, I managed to catch both a kalarippayattu show and a kathakali show (spelling?) in the Kathakali center. The kalarippayattu show was awesome because there were people chasing other people with knives. That's always good. The kathakali show was awesome because this guy's eyeballs were dancing all over his head. That's also always good. I'm going to try to post a video here and hopefully it'll work. I know it's sideways, but I don't know how to rotate it, so shut up. In case you're wondering what that thing he's swinging around is,... it's a double sword-whip thingy. There are two extremely long (and very sharp) swords attached to one hilt, which the guy swings around like a whip. In order to own one, you need a permit supplied by the Keralan police, lest you dice someone into fun sized pieces by accident. This guy was a gangster.

Anyway, I'm afraid if I muss with this post too much, it'll erase my video. I'm in Sri Lanka now and FUCKING LOVING IT. More to come.

I know,.... I know.

I'm terrible at updating this thing. In my defense, my camera has been absolutely useless for the last three weeks or so, and updating without relevant photos is no fun. Here is a picture of a really cute kid to balance out the text-photo ratio of this post.

Since leaving Hampi in mid-December, I ventured eastward to Hubli, a bo-dunk city in central Karnataka, famous for being completely unremarkable in every way. My reason for coming here was this: A friend from Anjuna, G-1, was concerned about the impending graduation of the woman of his dreams, a dental student named Deepti Rao, who was studying at Shree Something University. In India, after a woman finishes her education, it really is only a matter of time before she is pressured to marry and settle down. G-1 was not about to lose the fight for Deepti due to something as silly as his work schedule. It was my responsibility, then, to find Deepti, profess all of G-1's burning feelings for her, and return to Anjuna with mighty prize of her personal digits. My armor? Her name and the approximate location of her university. Period.

I accepted the challenge for two reasons: 1) my undying faith in true love, and 2) I was going to pass through Hubli anyway- how difficult could it be to find this girl in such a small town?

What I came to find out is that 1) Hubli is the second largest commercial center in the state of Karnataka, 2) the university isn't actually IN Hubli itself- it's about half an hour outside of the city, on the side of the highway, 3) the university is extremely large, and divided into two campuses that are impossible to bridge without the aid of the university bus, and 4) Deepti Rao had graduated about 5 months prior to my arrival in India. I was not pleased. Moreover, I arrived in Hubli in the middle of the night, and there was nowhere within my budget range to stay anywhere close to the campus. Thankfully, the manager at the Travel Inn was a freaking saint, and not only called every connection he had at the university in the attempt to find this girl, but managed to secure me cheap accommodation only a short bus ride away, as well as introduce me to a med student named John, who proved to be an invaluable guide to me for the rest of my stay in that horrible town. There was also beef jerky and salted plums involved... but I won't get into all that.

My initial anger at having been dragged out to the middle of nowhere for no reason at all immediately vanished at seeing G-1's crestfallen face when I told him that she was gone. It then resurfaced when he asked me to go back to pester her classmates for her personal cell number. I declined.

Anyway, I was back in Anjuna by the 23rd of December, just before Christmas. If any place in India could be what El Tunco, Maderas, Nazret, or Copán was to me... then Anjuna is it. Maybe Goa wasn't what it used to be, but it's still one of the best fucking places to party in the world. Best NYE I've ever had, hands down. Here's a photo from that night.

Ordinarily, I shun planning ahead- and I was having second thoughts about leaving behind the friends I had made in other parts of India to spend a fortune going to Goa to party for NYE, just to say I was there. (In the 70s and 80s, Anjuna became legendary for massive parties on the beach.. giving Goa the international reputation for being one of the best places in the world to spend NYE) I was not disappointed. When planning this trip, I only wanted a few things: A killer birthday, the pyramids of Giza, the opportunity to learn how to surf, and Goa for NYE. Thank God I never deviated from my plan.

Anyway, there was tomfoolery to be had afterwards.... Swedes are a fun lot to travel with- but I'll leave that for another post. It's on to Kerala tomorrow-- Kochi, Trivandrum, ashrams and lagoons. I'll post accordingly. In the meantime, here's a photo of Emil and Henrik in Paradise beach. The food was bad, but the tans were good.